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Choices

What size mirror do you have at home? Do you have a full length one or a small mirror to use when putting on makeup? If you want to do what it takes to see and celebrate your beauty, get a full length mirror!

Whatever your body…. if you feel you can’t possibly be beautiful because you are too plain, too heavy, too thin, too hippy, too flat or some other “too,” know your perception is not true. You have three more choices:

  1. You can continue to see yourself as ‘less than’. In which case you can keep reading these blogs to explore the possibility you might be wrong.
  2. You can deny that one’s looks make a difference, in which case, keep on reading these blogs to discover that this statement is false. How one looks does make a difference, in both how others perceive you and how you feel about yourself.
  3. Learn to showcase your features as beautifully unique.

Whether you choose one, two, or three, we will start at the beginning in the upcoming blogs to answer three fundamental questions:

What is beauty? Why is beauty important?, and… How do I begin?

How do you begin? First learn to see the beauty of your body as it’s now. Every form and shape, shadow and contour has the potential for creative expression in clothes you choose to wear. You can train your eye to see your beauty potential regardless of your size and shape. Second, learn to choose clothes and accessories that highlight your personality, Third, develop skills to use makeup and choose hairstyles that enhance your features and relate to your clothes and lifestyle. A beautiful reflection in the mirror depends on the total picture.

Virginia

Overweight by 150 pounds, Virginia had no clothes that fit her softly curved oval- silhouetted body.

She so hated her reflection that she dreaded going into a fitting room. Mirrors were her enemy. The only clothes that fit over her tummy were huge through the shoulder and hip, making her look like a shapeless lump with a tiny head on top. Once she began to see her body as an artistic shape very much like a bouquet of large peonies, she began the radical process of changing her self-hating talk and thought patterns. She started practicing self-encouragement thinking, which allowed her to the stop being a victim of available clothing. She took control of the way she looked. After buying the tent shaped clothing that fit over her tummy, she would march down to the alternations department and have the tops re-cut through the shoulders and the skirts and trousers tapered below her thigh and tummy. She changed the jewel necklines to large scoop necklines in order to frame her full rounded face. She shortened long sleeves to three-quarter length and made vents at the bottom of the side seams of her tunic-length overtops to give room for her thighs. She chose colors that repeated her blue green eyes and chocolate-rose skin. Shoes were a challenge until she found a catalog that carried an extra-wide a simple flat in a smoky taupe that related to her smoky deep brown hair. A long, soft rectangular chiffon scarf and pearl earrings that related to the whites of her delicate almond-shaped eyes finished her creative ensemble. Taking control of the possibility for beauty, resulted in self-confidence and self-acceptance. Her weight might be important for her health, but it’s not for her beauty.

Locked

Locked in a Lie

There might be perfectly reasonable explanations for why you would like to change things about your body, for why you haven’t yet embraced who you are. Simple reasons that often avoid detection.

Stores don’t carry clothes that fit you.

Clothing manufacturers design and cut clothing based on specific proportions and dimensions. If your body proportions are different than the fit model of the manufacturer, the clothes you try on and buy won’t fit. The sleeves will be too short if your arms are longer than the fit model, or too long if your arms are any shorter. If your waist is wider or smaller … if your hips are wider or more narrow … if your bosom is larger or smaller than the fit model, the list goes on. Typically, we either make do with what is too big or go through life being squeezed into garments like a sausage. Its NOT YOU, its not your body that has a problem…it’s the manufacturer.

The clothing industry shares responsibility for our warped attitudes about ourselves. To stay in business, clothing companies must make a profit, fair enough. Straight seams cost less to cut and sew than curved ones. Almost all affordable clothing is manufactured with straight seams, yet women generally have curved bodies. When we try to put our bodies into these straight-cut clothes and we don’t fit, we think there is something wrong with us. We look at the stick-straight models —the ones whose bones show and look like tall girl-children­—the ones who look good in those straight-seamed clothes—and we wish we didn’t have our curves. Ouch. We compare ourselves to those models and think there must be something wrong with our curves, our bodies, ourselves. The truth, there is nothing wrong with who you are or how you’re made; there is something wrong with how the clothes are made.

Connie

Finding ready-made clothes was a seemingly impossible task for Connie. She was six feet tall and small boned, with long arms, long legs, long neck, tiny head, and delicate features. Women’s clothes are not manufactured for her body proportions. She wanted feminine clothes to wear under her working uniform of white doctor’s coats—not fussy feminine clothes, just clothes with some grace. The only garments she could find to wear were men’s jeans and shirts, which were not feminine; they were simply long enough. She was able to find tops and some sweaters, but she wanted to have trousers and skirts cut for the way she moved. Her long stride called for swinging skirts in fluid fabrics that swirled around her calves. Her relaxed posture asked for softly tailored, loose-fitting jackets or cardigans. Not having feminine clothing had been such a problem all her life that as she approached her 50th birthday she was still self-conscious when meeting strangers.

When she came to see me she felt trapped. Oh, and the truth will set you free. It didn’t take long however for Connie to realize that her body was asking for skirts, trousers and long sleeved jackets tailored to her proportions, not a fit model who didn’t look like her, wasn’t her, never could be her. She is unique, we all are. Because of her narrow waist and fuller thigh, she looked best in shorter jackets that had fit through the waist. We took her boxy blazers to an alterations person who trimmed the bottom to three inches below her waist; made the sleeves longer with the cut fabric and created curves in the side seams to make the overall appearance more feminine. After her first fitting the change in her countenance was remarkable. She was becoming other rather than self conscious.